Intuition

Okay I think I'm ready to talk about it. This is probably a really bad idea, considering I'm slightly riled up, but heeeere goes.

Above all, I trust my intuition more than anything. That voice inside my head always points me in the right direction, or at least the direction that feels right. I've put these past couple days/weeks up for evaluation. I didn't even bother to weigh out the pros and cons beforehand; there are a number of potential risks involved (those of which I will not discuss right now).

Now I almost feel like I'm living in fear, for multiple reasons. Where is all this going? To an extent, it's okay to not know. But realistically speaking, how much am I willing to invest to find out? My intuition tells me that I can't give my all anymore; I simply cannot put in 110% just to get hit blindsided with heartbreak again. Reflecting back on last time it happened instills skepticism in me. I remember how it just felt so unfair, and how it ruined my frame of mind; I practically had to sketch out a brand new game plan. Then to just revert back to "the way things used to be".... it's hard. I can't pretend like last month's misery didn't happen.. I actually still feel residual pain from it. I used to be willing to do whatever it took for everything to work out... and I always felt like it was worth the struggle.. but I'm starting to feel like a battered fighter..

to be continued! Oh the suspense.