Back

When there's no one to talk to, it's comforting to know I can default to this.

I've spent the past almost two weeks licking my emotional wounds, and I often find myself in a position I don't want to be, feeling things I simply don't want to be feeling. It turned into an ethical struggle of what to do about my life. I want to be here, but I don't. I want to move, but I don't. In the past three months, I have fallen in love with my job to the fullest extent possible, and that is hardly an exaggeration. My patients bring joy to my life. No matter what kind of bullshit is going on outside of work, when I'm with those kids, they lift my spirits like you will never know.

Somehow I tend to overdramatize my life; as if all is lost just because of recent events. If I said I didn't have it good overall, it would be a blatant lie. But I don't need a pity party, and I don't particularly enjoy the primary conversation starter being "Are you okay?". Yes I'm okay. So what if I'm not smiling? Don't ask, I don't wanna talk about it. Of course being out of my comfort zone is difficult, but I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for. I can't continue wasting my time blaming myself for what happened..